Steady Some Sort Ready

I am back again. Well, it's not that I am dead with a black parade although I do like to think that I have one with Portishead performing. Anyway, just need to let you guys know that I am still alive and surviving with reality. For the past months, it has been like a turmoil for me. I don't want to pen down what exactly was it but it was certainly no good news for sure and I am trying to forget all of that because I have somehow woke up to this epiphany. I hope this epiphany stays as it is otherwise, I will be very disappointed and be sucked into the black hole again. Let's hope that doesn't happen because coming to this stage or this point where I am at now, I am incredibly impressed with myself that I actually took all the courage and beat all odds and fears to reach here. Although not the brightest, I believe this point is the start of something - a guide to a brighter path. Okay, it sounds grey but a positive shade of grey which makes it all good cos positivism brightens everything and no, the haze doesn't bug me although it does annoy my nose. People, stay home and shut your doors and windows and drink plenty of water! The haze is terrifying. The moment I stepped out the house today, I thought I was in an apocalypse like what you'd see in zombie movies and there wasn't anyone on the road by sight until my neighbour came out which hits me that the world is still the same old place just covered in bad soot. Yuck.

On top of that, I am really happy to be freely writing now like this. This is a change and I love coffee now but that doesn't mean I hate tea. Nothing beats my Earl Grey, it's still at the top of my favourite drinks. I need to start getting used to this change. Hopefully this change is the start of something good. Above everything, I'd like to thank the Big Man up there for being so kind with me and for listening to my prayers. Without HIM, I will be lost in that dark vacuum. Now let's take a moment and close our eyes to say these prayers to thank HIM for being ever patient and kind with us.

"Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies.He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!"  - Psalm 103:1-5, NLT