It is almost 3 AM now and i know i should be sleeping and not watching random videos on YouTube. It is almost close to an hour since i last had my meds and apparently, no sign of drowsiness or sleepiness. If the next five minutes remained the same status, i'll be a rebel and play doctor and pop another pill in hope i fall asleep.
Don't worry, this pill is not a sleeping pill but a flu pill. Funny how usually people diagnosed with flu always get to sleep easily but not me. I am not complaining, just puzzled and impatient on the work progress from the pill. Not to mention, this pill is being paid for and i feel anything that needs to be bought or paid, that particular product/service should deliver its function(s) to the fullest. Otherwise, why buy or why even the thought of acquiring something in hope that it fixes a certain satisfaction for that necessary/unnecessary 'need' in a life. So far, i am very pleased with whatever purchases i made and a very good and best example would be my massive love for Nutella. Whenever i pop by a sundry shop and Nutella comes to sight, off goes my RM 11.90 from my wallet with no remorse but with much glee. I have Nutella whenever melancholy hits or when nothingness strikes or when i feel happy; in short, i have it all the time for whatever emotion or feels occur.
Moving on, i spent hours just now and angst brewed along the way with my impatience and what triggered the fiery emotion was a track that i instantly fell in love with - came to find that song when i had my shower while listening to 8tracks at some random playlist - was nowhere to be found on YouTube. Rushed out the bathroom, got my pyjamas on, settled on my chair and my fingers got excited with the keyboard but the excitement didn't last long when most results came out nil and download links defunct and read something sad about the band and about that particular track which i named, 'melancholics cup' to replace the original track entitled 'You or a Ghost' was taken out by the lead singer of The BroBecks cos he wasn't too happy about that particular album and also that song. I was mad and even made bad remarks about him at the back of my head but then, i felt sorry for him cos i understood where he was coming from especially after listening to the same track about 30 times within two hours including this hour. I can feel his grief and his uncertainties and i can relate to every single chord and words and drums that beat out his emotions in the track. It must have triggered some pretty bad memory in him cos it did with me. All i can say is, i am thankful to remember whatever bitter memories cos this shows me that my brain capacity and processor is functioning really well as i am known to have a poor memory - maybe not poor, just slow - like pentian 2. okay, i should stop now. i need to pop my pill to sleep so i can fall asleep and wake up fresh for work in the next hours and face my colleagues and my editor and so that i can play myself through the day until work ends at 6 pm.
Before signing off, i leave you with this track which i call it 'melancholics cup' for your humdrum days or when you don't know what to feel or how to feel, just pop it to your ears. Good bye X
